Miss Idaho is an organization that has many things that set it apart from other pageants. If you enjoy keeping up with my blog posts like I enjoy writing them, you may be starting to see some trends. One is that I speak endlessly about the personal platform that I have been developing. Another is that I have, in the past, been terrified of failure. A few days ago I realized that there is a part of the competition that allows me to voice these things and my development because of them. I know what you might be thinking- interview, right? Wrong. For me, it’s my talent.. but I don’t even think I realized that until just now.
One area of competition that is wildly important in the Miss Idaho pageant is the talent. This portion of competition is unique to the Miss America Organization and cannot be over looked as it carries the most weight percentage wise. In order to prepare, I have been practicing my Broadway vocal, “Don’t Rain on my Parade”, on my own time as well as receiving coaching from a vocal instructor.
I’m going to be honest with you, ladies and gentlemen. The past few weeks have been stressful. The Miss Idaho competition is less than two months away, all of the paperwork and ad sales are due in about 2 weeks, college final papers are due this week, and I have also getting adjusted in a new internship. All of these opportunities I am so grateful for but, I’ll tell you, I go to bed tired. In the midst of all of this hustle and bustle, I forgot why I am here in the first place. That was until Friday, April 29, at 2:15 pm.
I had just gotten off work at my internship and went straight to my voice lesson. Carole, my voice coach, reminded me kindly as I was warming up and as I was practicing my talent song, “relax your arms”, “relax”, “relax”. My tense body was contributing to a strain on my voice and the missing of a couple notes. I was getting so frustrated thinking “why can’t I just relax?” and “why can’t I get this right??” Finally she said, “Brittany, let’s talk about what this song means to you”.
Of course I had thought about this before, but being consumed in the technicalities, trying to be perfect, and trying to be the best, I forgot why I loved this song. Well, I am here to make a document so that I never forget and so that everyone knows what it means to me. The song lyrics are bolded. My translation of the text is below:
“Don’t tell me not to live, just sit and putter. Life’s candy and the sun’s a ball of butter. Don’t bring around a cloud to rain on my parade”.
I think that I had always told myself that I was singing this particular section of the song for the judges and the audience- maybe even the “haters”. But, I have realized that I am singing that part to myself. It’s like the devil and angel on the shoulder picture. Part of me knows that I am capable of great things and that my heart is in the right place. But there is another part of me, the part I have from time to time listened to, that tells me that I am not enough to achieve what I want to. It’s when I sing these lyrics that I will boldly declare to everyone listening “I am enough. I am the best Brittany Lock in the history of the world”.
“I’m going to live and live now. Get what I want I know how”.
I have all of the tools to be successful. I have done all of the work to be successful. I just have to apply it and know that whatever happens, I have done everything in my power to make the world a little better.
“One roll for the whole shabang. One throw that bell will go clang. Eye on the target and wham. One shot one gun shot and BAM”!
You know what everyone says about Thomas Edison and how you have to find 999 ways to not invent a light bulb before you find the one way that works? That is what this phrase means to me. I am going to be unsuccessful- a lot. I’m not perfect. But I am going to try and try and try and put 110% effort into it. Then, eventually, there will be one time that it works and BAM. I DID IT!
“Hey Mr. Ariensteen here I am”!
Yup. Here I am. In all of my flaws, in all of my glory, in all of my hard work, I am here to do my best.
“I’ll march my band out. I’ll beat my drum- and if I’m fanned out- your turn at bat sir. At least I didn’t fake it, hat sir. I guess I didn’t make it”.
Again, here I am. I am going to give it all I got. Even if I fail, I will fail knowing that I put my whole heart into this and that I was raw. I was Brittany Lock. Not someone that other people want Brittany Lock to be.
“Get ready for me love ‘cause I’m a comer. I simply gotta march my heart is a drummer”.
I have to compete and I have to compete to my best ability because this program, Miss Idaho, it makes me better. It gives me a platform to overcome my fears, to put myself in uncomfortable situations, to connect with people I never may have otherwise and learn from them. I also have the ability to share my message with others. I have the opportunity to utilize the talents of a group of people that are committed to my success (the Miss Idaho board). The Brittany that achieves greatness is the Brittany that I was meant to be.
“Nobody, no, nobody, is gunna rain on my parade”.
Not you, not me, not anyone can take away my power. Nobody can keep me from reaching my full potential. I can do great things and I am here to do them. Watch me, and then join me.
After I told Carole all of these things, I was a little emotional. I had been so caught up in trying to be what other people wanted that I forgot that this song and my Miss Idaho experience what my chance to challenge myself to be my best self. I was so focused on doing right by the program and by not failing that I forgot I am enough.. and not only just that but also that by being involved in this great organization, I CAN’T FAIL. All I can do is get better. There are a team of people that want to see me succeed and will do everything they can to help me. Even if I don’t come home with a crown on June 18th, I will come home knowing that I was a fearlessly Brittany.
Miss Boise 201